What To Do Before You Say I Do Part 2

Untitled project from SquadCast

rev--michele-owes_6_07-19-2026_185747: [00:00:00] Mrs. Cherry is going to share with us the definition of marriage. Now prepare your hearts 'cause this is really something. This is a definition that we have taught for years. It has grown over the years. It has changed because times have changed, and so we've had to strengthen it through the years. But marriage is a divine institution It is created by God, and it is a divine institution whereby two rational- You gotta have a, you gotta know what you're doing.

You gotta be, have a, have a correct mindset. You gotta be rational. Some of us are out already. Right. Free moral agents, two people who are rational, free moral agents who are born again Christians. As, uh, Reverend O. said earlier, you gotta be born again. Uh-huh. Because this is an institution created [00:01:00] by God.

And so God has made the rules for it, not man and not mankind. Where they are natural born male and female, and they choose to enter into covenant relationship with each other. I know it's a lot. But marriage is a lot, and we do it too flippantly. Yes. So just take your time, put on your thinking cap, put on your hearing cap.

I'm gonna read it from the beginning. Marriage is a divine institution created by God whereby two rational, free moral agents who are born again, they're natural born male or female. Now this is really the most important part. You choose. Mm-hmm. The choice is yours. Mm-hmm. You don't have to get married. Mm-mm.

You don't have to do what God said. The choice is yours, but you [00:02:00] choose to enter into a covenant relationship with each other, and the important thing is that you have made an unconditional- Mm ... lifetime commitment to stay with an imperfect person. I mean, marriage is serious, and we have taken it so, um- Flippantly

flippantly, yes. Mm-hmm. But the, the commitment is made to God, and the commitment- Mm-hmm ... is made to stay with an imperfect person. Hey, that's not just your mate. That's you too, sweetie pie. We are all born in sin- Yeah ... shaped in iniquity, and we are all imperfect people. And so we need to realize that God takes it very seriously.

Well, we don't have to make a covenant. We don't have to come in covenant agreement with God. But if we do, God expects us to keep that [00:03:00] covenant, that commitment, because it's made to Him. If we made a commitment to stay with a human being, listen, as soon as he sneeze on our plate of food- Yeah ... and we, and we don't like it , we're gonna be ready to leave.

But the commitment is made by two free moral agents who are born again Christians. They are natural born male or female. Mm-hmm. And they choose to enter into covenant relationship with each other, but they've made an unconditional lifetime commitment to God to stay with an imperfect person. You wanna take a deep breath?

It's a lot. We know it's a lot. You wanna think about this again? Right. We know it's a lot, and we know that it's not in accordance with, uh, to contemporary thinking. Yes. But God is an all-time God. Yes. He does not change, and this is really the true [00:04:00] meaning of marriage according to what God would have us to do.

Mm-hmm. So during the marriage, uh, ceremony, whenever we would marry someone, we would, uh, you know, re- uh, remind them of what Adam said back in Genesis. We're supposed to leave and cleave. Leave. You leave your mama. You leave your papa, and you make a commitment to cleave, and that word cleave means stuck like glue.

Woo. Super glue here. Super glue, right. And that's why when you have a divorce or separation, it's so painful. Mm-hmm. Because imagine that you have been super glued with somebody- Mm ... and you try to sep- or with something, or even with a substance, and you try to pull your hand away from that, uh, surface that you've been super glued to.

Mm-hmm. It hurts. Mm. It tears, it bleeds. Mm. And it's never intended to be separated. Mm-hmm. And so that's why divorce is so damnable and why it's so hurtful. You can't really divorce a [00:05:00] person. Uh-huh. Right. But that's it, isn't it? You can't, especially if you have children, because every graduation- ... every marriage, every, uh- Baby shower

every baby shower- Family reunion ... every birthday, every family reunion, they gonna be right there. Right there. And I often share with Reverend Oates, we're in much better position because our husbands have gone to heaven, and we- They won't be able to show up at the... We know, we know they're not coming back.

They don't wanna come back. We want them to- Oh ... but they don't wanna come back. Mm-mm. But once we marry, it is, it's a serious thing- Yes ... to choose to marry someone. Yes. It's a serious thing- Mm-hmm ... to choose to enter into a covenant relationship with God to stay with an imperfect person, and cute as you think you are-

and good as you think you are, honey. And fine as he is. As fine as you think you... You are [00:06:00] fine, but you're not divine. Well, I think that's a key point right there, Mrs. Cherry, because it starts off saying that it is a divine institution. Institution, right. So it's not earthly. Right. This is godly. Getting married is entering into God's institution, and it says two- Two

rational. Rational. Well, let's just start with the two. That means there should not be three. You can't bring in your old girlfriend or old boyfriend, or you can't still have a crush on the fella down the street and be trying... It's two, two rational. If you know you are not rational and have never been rational a day in your life-

rethink that. Figure out what's going on with you before you decide to marry. Mm-hmm. Two, uh, rational Made up for free Free, free moral- Are you free or are you bound? Right, right, right. Well, if you have not yet met Jesus, you're bound. Right. You are not free. Bound by sin. Mm-hmm. And so, you know, you are entering into this [00:07:00] relationship and you know that neither one of you are perfect people.

Mm-hmm. And so you need God to have imperfect people stick together, right? Mm-hmm. Because you're not gonna stick on your own. Mm-hmm. Um, to marry someone is to become one with them. Yes. And Mrs. Cherry was talking about being stuck like glue. Yeah. And I don't know if you've ever had super glue on. It's real tough to get that stuff off.

You gotta work a while. Yeah. Uh, but in the natural, you know, when you marry someone, even if you do go to the courthouse and sign the papers and say it's over, it ain't really ever over- Mm ... as long as the two of you are still alive. Mm. Because if you have, you know, children or your families, uh, intertwined in various ways, you're always gonna run into one another again.

Always. Uh, you know, save you become a widow or a widower, you may see that person again, right? Mm-hmm. So are you ready for that? Are you really ready for [00:08:00] that? Um, not that you can know all things, but to start with the Lord, inquiring of Him, inquiring about His institution- Mm-hmm ... doing the introspection necessary to work on you, understanding that even after working on you, you're going to be imperfect.

But the thing you must know is that you must, you both must have a relationship with God- Yes ... because you've got to refer to the satellite whenever there's a problem. That's right. That's right. And there is going to be a problem. Yes. Right. Life has problems. Yes, yes, yes, yes, it does. But it's, um, it's important for us to realize that the institution was started by God when we were innocent.

Yes. And we say an imperfect person. Why, you know, why would you call me imperfect? I'm not imperfect. I haven't done anything wrong. You know, we are all born in sin- Mm-hmm ... shaped in iniquity- Mm-hmm ... according to Psalm [00:09:00] 51:5, and there are no perfect people. Mm-hmm. We all have a sin nature, and we are born with sin having dominion over us.

Mm-hmm. And the only way for us to defeat our sin nature now is to accept Jesus as our personal Lord and Savior, and He will give us a new life. But we are still two human beings. We're making a decision, a choice to enter into this relationship. God's not gonna choose a mate for us. Mm-hmm. Adam chose Eve.

God presented Eve, but Adam made the choice, and it's the same thing with us. So, you know, marriage is something that should not, not be entered into lightly, and in fact, I think that's part of the, uh, marriage vows that we have. Right. You don't enter into this lightly, but you enter into this having, um, studied the Word of God- Mm-hmm

having consulted with your minister. But marriage is a serious thing And we really need to understand that it is a [00:10:00] lifetime commitment, it is to an imperfect person, and we need to know how we should enter this, uh, institution created by God. We're no longer innocent. Mm-hmm. But we can be as clean and as pure as we can humanly be to enter into this relationship.

And that begins, again, with the introspection, with the self-examination- Mm-hmm ... with making sure that we're not carrying any unknown knowns that we talked about before. Mm-hmm. And being as perfectly, um, prepared as we can be. Not being perfect people, but being perfectly prepared as best we can be. And then if we choose to marry, we have to learn the rules of the institution.

And then we have to follow the rules of the institution- Right ... just like we would follow the rules of any institution. Right. So. I- it's important also to note that, uh, somewhere in, in this sharing, uh, Mrs. Cherry, you, you wrote that if you're going to be a doctor, you have to go through training and- Yes

and get [00:11:00] certified. Same way with a lawyer, a teacher- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm ... or whatever, uh, you choose as your profession and... But people just wanna hop up and say, "I do," and get married and spend no time preparing. Right. Get yourself certified, if you will. Right. Right. Right. Finish the premarital class, have the meeting with your pastor, sit down, work out your finances, make sure that- Right

you know, you know what you're really working with. Right. And so these things take time. Yes. And you, you don't wanna try to rush this. You want to take your time. Now, there is no perfect person, so don't wait until you, quote, "think your mate is perfect." That time will never come. But, and, and we can say that to you after successful years of marriages.

Yes. Yes. You know, there is no perfect person and, and the definition is that you've made a commitment to- To an imperfect person ... an imperfect person. Well, let me... That part stays the same forever. Yeah. They're always imperfect- Right ... and so are you. And so. Right? Right. So, so I need to be able to have unconditional [00:12:00] love for the person that I want to enter into this relationship with.

Yes. Yes. 'Cause I've gotta be able to love through the flaws. Yes. Recognizing I have some myself, right? Maybe you might say, "Well, not as many." Not as many. Okay. That's the same thought I had. Well, that, that might be just your thought. Right. But Mm-hmm. But that's okay. But understand that you want God. You want God in this institution.

You want His wisdom. You want His knowledge. You wanna understand your roles in the marriage. You want to understand what God intended, because that is the only way that it will be successful. And there is nothing more beautiful than a successful marriage in Christ Jesus. Right. And the fact that you are smiling at someone that is smiling at you, and you are willing to go through the process of saying, "I do", make sure that for the benefit [00:13:00] of the union, you take care of everything before you say, "I do"- Amen

so that that person and your relationship has a greater chance for success. Yeah. And that you're not weighed down and, you know, the other person is not saying, "Well, you know, I know, I know my wife," or, "I know my husband, but there just seems to be something that I can't get to or something I- Mm-hmm ... can't reach or-" Put my finger on.

Yeah. Yeah. Something I can't put my finger on. Or they seem to be holding something back- Right ... or not disclosing something or, you know. And, and these are the things that we know that we don't want them to know, right? Right. And so it becomes an issue, uh, in our marriage. Yes. Well, uh, I know we're coming to an end, so I'm gonna leave you with this thought, and we're gonna pick up here next time.

Marriage is an institution, right? We shared that. It's an institution. It is a place where we are institutionalized. Mm. And we're gonna deal with that more next time. So you're, you're about to enter an institution.

All right. Well, we thank you so [00:14:00] much for being with us. We love you, and we hope to see you again on our next podcast.