Teachable Woman Podcast
About Marriage – Part 3
Hosts: Rev. Michele Owes and Tamara Johnson
Introduction
Welcome back to the Teachable Woman Podcast, where we are committed to being “Teachers of Good Things” and learning how to apply God’s Word to everyday life. In this episode, Rev. Michele Owes is joined again by Tamara Johnson of Tam I Am for another honest and practical conversation about marriage.
Building on their previous discussion about leadership, followership, communication, and the baggage we bring into marriage, this episode takes a deeper look at what it means to build a marriage God’s way. Through Scripture, personal experiences, humor, and transparency, Michele and Tamara explore the beauty of becoming one, the importance of prayer, grace, commitment, wise communication, and creating a peaceful home.
The conversation reminds us that marriage is not about changing our spouse into the person we want them to be. It is about allowing God to work on us while trusting Him to work on our spouse.
Podcast Notes
1. Do Whatever He Tells You to Do
The conversation begins with Jesus’ first miracle at the wedding in Cana. Michele points out an important detail that can easily be overlooked: Mary told the servants, “Do whatever He tells you to do.” The miracle happened after they followed Jesus’ instructions. Michele applies that same principle to marriage. We can have our own ideas about how our spouse should behave, how the home should operate, and how we should be treated, but the question is whether we are willing to follow what God says about marriage. Both husbands and wives have responsibilities, and neither spouse gets to simply demand that the other change.
2. God Works on You, Not Your Spouse for You
One of the strongest lessons in the episode is the reminder that prayer is not a tool for getting God to fix our spouse. Michele and Tamara share that they have gone into their prayer closets complaining about their husbands, only to come away with a list of things God wanted them to work on. God is interested in transforming each person individually. Prayer accomplishes far more than fussing, fighting, or arguing because it addresses the source of the problem rather than simply patching over the symptoms. Marriage requires humility enough to ask, “Lord, what do You want to change in me?”
3. Marriage Becomes One Through the Journey
Michele describes marriage as a “mystical union” and emphasizes that becoming one does not happen overnight. Saying “I do” begins the journey, but true oneness develops through the years. Couples become one as they overcome obstacles, walk through difficult seasons together, encourage one another, and learn how to remain committed during trials. Tamara adds that being “on one accord” does not mean agreeing about everything. Husbands and wives have different personalities, preferences, strengths, and opinions. Being on one accord means remembering that you are on the same team and that disagreement does not automatically threaten the covenant.
4. Marriage Is a Commitment to an Imperfect Person
The hosts speak candidly about the reality that marriage is a choice to live with and love an imperfect person. We often expect our spouse to automatically know what we want, how we want to be treated, and how we expect the household to function. But neither spouse can know everything about the other at the beginning of the marriage. Couples learn one another over time. Michele shares a humorous story about trying to sleep in another room when she was upset with her husband, only to have him follow her from room to room because he refused to allow separation to become a pattern. His message was simple: they were in it together.
5. Marriage Is Valuable, and Grace Matters
Hebrews 13:4 is highlighted as a reminder that marriage is honorable, valuable, esteemed, and precious. Tamara shares one of the things she loves most about her marriage: the grace they extend to one another. They do not keep score over who did more. There are seasons when one spouse may have to carry more of the financial, household, parenting, or other responsibilities. Rather than keeping a running tally, they work together as partners. Tamara connects this to the biblical instruction to bear with one another in love, recognizing that her husband is not only her husband but also her brother in Christ. Grace allows spouses to serve one another without turning marriage into a competition.
6. Protect the Peace of Your Home
Michele shares that during her 33 years of marriage, her children never heard her and her husband yelling or arguing with one another. They had difficult and passionate conversations, but they learned to choose the appropriate time and place for those conversations. Sometimes they would take a walk, go for a drive, or plan a discussion for a later time. They prayed before family meetings and intentionally protected the atmosphere of their home. Proverbs’ warning abo...
